Jaclyn Marie

First boyfriend…what keeps me holding on?

Jaclyn — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 18:28:11 +0000

I love my ex boyfriend or whatever we are. He just left for the Army Basic and Advanced training and we’ve had a couple of very difficult months. Thing is, I met someone. Someone wonderful, full of life and love to give. But somehow I can’t let my ex go, obviously a factor in this is all we’ve been through plus I live with my grandparents and either way they wouldn’t allow me to have another boyfriend…and much less so soon. See, my ex and I were broken up since September but we were pretty much together in an odd way. And I met this guy on December 5th at a party. We didn’t expect to like each other but these things just happen. And my ex has disappointed me a lot in the past, but I’ve let him down as well. Suddenly I find myself wondering if I’m holding more because of love or because of being used to being with him? Is actually rejecting anyone else and just waiting for things with him to work actually the easy way out? I mean…he knows almost everything about me, we’ve been together for 3 years. I love him but he’s changed a lot, he promises he’ll be better than ever when he’s back but I’m scared. What if I’m wrong and someone will make me happier then he ever can? Then I think, will someone try as hard as my ex to try to make me happy? Because maybe someone can make me happier but doesn’t really give a lot in relationship. What if holding on is the mistake? And if I let go…what if that will be the mistake? I wish I had a way, a signal or something to let me know what’s better for me. Well…Happy New Year to anyone who reads this!

Untitled Poem

Jaclyn — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 18:10:38 +0000

We’ve never had it easy
But always managed to make it through
You were always there for me
And that’s why I love you

I never knew love before you
And I’m sure no other will ever compare
Because this kind of love is real
And will never suffer despair

So even if we don’t see each other
For years in a row
This love won’t be over
‘Cause we’ll never let it go

Really have no clue what to name it…

Mom

Jaclyn — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 00:53:16 +0000

It’s been nine years since you became an official angel and I miss you still every day a little more. I wish I could be with you today, but I guess I’m not done here. I saw you in some videos today, which was nice. I love to see you smile. I read your yearbooks and they just keep proving how amazing you were. You always were an angel…..te amo!

If I know..

Jaclyn — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 02:22:45 +0000

…what love is, it is because of you.

I believe this is the most honest quote existent. You know love because someone has taught you (or made you) love. Every form of love, family love, romantic love, puppy love, friend love, summer love, in conclusion… every kind of love there is. I have never thought about it this way, and now that I did I realize so many people have taught me love. It’s amazing, I owe it to a couple of people that I’ve experienced one of the best feelings in the world. Of course I’m yet to know more types¹ but still, I’ve learned so many in such short years. And yet, I ask myself…why have a I never thanked these people for giving me this precious gift? Why have I not realized what they’ve done until this moment? Is it possible people have gone through their whole lives without ever realizing this– or worse yet, realizing it but not thanking the people who did it for them?

I suppose this post will lead me to thank quite a few people, even if it is indirectly. Even if it’s just hoping they’ll read this one day.

Like the love my child will give me.

So Highschool

Jaclyn — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 00:01:39 +0000

I hate it when my classmates act so immature. We have a festival honoring our culture every year at my school. The festival lasts two days, after a week of activities leading up to it. Every grade does a presentation that involves acting and dancing. Somewhere along the line a group of girls took over everything and now everyone is angry. I personally couldn’t care less, my focus was that it was our last festival. Apparently dancing more is more important than that. Sometimes I feel I’m in fifth grade again.

I hope I’m not the only one that experiences this.

Things that will never be said

Jaclyn — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 23:03:17 +0000

I think almost every human being had stopped him/herself from saying something some point in their lives. What they omit may be an “I love you”, but it also can be an “I hate you”. I’ve realized I’ve omitted too many things in my life, but some really are for the better. For example, sometimes in life you fall in love with someone who clearly will never treat you how you deserve but you just can’t help yourself. It’s your weakness, the way that person melts your heart when you speak. It’s shocking how someone’s smile can light up your day– or maybe even your whole week! It’s marvelous…and painful at the same time. You have to shut up about it, even if it drives you crazy. Even if you have to write letters you’ll never send, and think of ways to say things you’ll never dare to speak. But in life you have to be faithful to two main things, those you say and those you don’t. Choose wisely each time you to decide to do one or another, because you’ll have to live with the “what if..?” for the rest of your days, unless you’re lucky enough to try it again.

Missions

Jaclyn — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 22:07:24 +0000

I’ve always been inclined to participate in missions to poor countries. In a future, I’d like to do annual visits to several countries and try to lend a helping hand. I have been offered to participate in one in April 2009, they’re going to the Dominican Republic. My school does this mission every year and I have been invited several times but the dates conflicted with prior personal plans. This year, I thought I would finally get the chance. Sadly, my grandmother had said no. She said I couldn’t go because I would put my life at risk. Personally, I feel very sad that she feels this way. It isn’t the first time they do it and no one has ever been hurt. And even if I were to risk my life, it would be to try to help a ot of people who have had lives much worse than mine. I really wished I could help.

My school is also collecting food and clothes for the countries affected by the latest hurricanes. I exhort anyone who reads this to contact the Red Cross and organize donations in your school or neighborhood so that the Red Cross picks up the donations and sends them where they are needed. Food, money, supplies and clothes are all welcome and very much needed.

Always keep in mind, you never know who you might be helping. It can be an orphaned child or a mother who lost her children. You never know when you might need people to help you.

Not So Long Ago

Jaclyn — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 21:34:50 +0000

Not so long ago
You were kissing my forehead
And telling me I was an angel
In your life

Holding me closely
Listening to the radio
Talking for hours about nothing
Lying on your bed laughing

Not so long ago you kissed me under the moonlight
And somehow you made everything feel alright
Not so long ago I was your girl
Not so long ago you were my world

But time goes on
And now you’re telling her
And time goes by
And you’re still my world

First Day as a Senior

Jaclyn — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 20:11:41 +0000

I had Orientation Day at school this Monday. After that, we went to the beach and stayed until sunset. It was great! It was nice to see my classmates again. On wednesday I had my first day of class as a High School Senior. It was great. We had our class shirts¹ on and we looked really nice! It was nice to hear their jokes again and it already feels like time is passing so fast.

I know this year will be the shortest one to date, and it’s sad because it is our last year as high school students. Are you a Senior and how do you feel about it? If you already graduated, what was your Senior year like?

Only Seniors are permitted to wear different shirts two times a week. They are different colors and have our class mascot sewn on it.

Fourteen

Jaclyn — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 01:48:10 +0000

This past week has been quite eventful. My sister left, and I’ve gone to the mall, movies and beach!

Movies: Of course, I watched The Dark Knight. I adored Heath Ledger’s performance and if the plan on doing another movie and replace him, I don’t think I’ll be excited to watch it. I really liked the whole cast except I wish they would’ve brought Katie Holmes back and not the ugly actress they replaced her with. Oh well!

Life: Well I got a nice tan, although somewhat uneven :S. I love shopping, well..going to stores because I barely buy anything. I’m hooked on Sudoku though, which is weird. I never like those types of things.

As for the title of this post, Fourteen, it refers to the College Board exam results I spoke about a few posts ago. I got 1414. Which is pretty awesome! I’m really excited.