I had a good nights sleep, thank God. It was another difficult day. I saw so many Valentine’s Day stuff I was SICK of it. I wanted to talk to him, see him. Walk with him for a while and just talk, even if it was merely about trees and the diversity of leaves in them. But I didn’t see him. I didn’t even talk to him until a little while ago. 19 minutes. The best part of my day lasted 19 minutes. I found a notebook in my nightstand and it had three unsent letters of when he was in basic training. I also found a valentine he sent me a couple of years ago. 4 years, 4 months and 9 days. Also, I read some Nicholas Sparks quotes which I posted into my tumblr (http://jaclynmarie1.tumblr.com) which is now responsible for small venting in between blog posts. I found quotes from Dear John, which I read but had forgotten what beautiful quotes it had.

Anyway, back to the subject. I miss him. And it’s not that I want someone, it’s that I want him. I don’t want A boyfriend, I want MY boyfriend. It’s not that we’ve been through so much that always made me hold on, it’s the fact that we have so much time to do so much more together. I see all the chances we can have to move forward and bury all the negative things in the past with wonderful experiences in the future. I love him, and I always will. I want us to move forward together, but I want him to want me like he used to. I was to be indispensable in his life again. I want us to be on the same page for the first time, where neither of us can live without the other and both of us are madly in love. I just want him. These are the thoughts of day two.

I want to be his Valentine, every day of every year I have left to live.