tied to the past
Today I realized something and I don’t believe I’m the first one it’s happened to. Have you ever tied something to a part of your life? I’ll explain myself.
While I was dating this guy he sort of suggested I dyed my hair black. I had always wanted to dye my hair and black didn’t seem that much of a difference (my hair was dark brown –really dark) and so I did. Now that it’s over between him and me and I’m back with my boyfriend (on-and-off for four years now), it seems I somehow relate my hair to that past relationship. I wanted to get rid of it and do something for me, something fresh. I bought a Light Auburn dye and gave it to myself. The roots turned out a beautiful bright reddish-brown, and the rest the old jet black color. I guess in a way I felt that if I changed my hair somehow I could also change things I carry in me, memories; I guessed I could somehow start forgetting. But in a way, like my hair, it’ll take time and patience. If I try to do it fast, it’ll only get worse. So instead, I have to re-dye my hair black (so the red roots are not noticeable) and just let it grow and fade.
I just have to let it fade… 
This post has 4 comments
December 30th, 2009
I completely relate. I have had different hair colors throughout the past 3 and a half years and whenever I got a new boyfriend, I would try to change my hair color to something that didn’t remind me of him, or if I got back with an old boyfriend, it seemed that I wanted to return to that color. Its weird isn’t it?
December 30th, 2009
It is, but I guess we all have things that remind us of people or places or occasions. We tie everything; looks, songs, places. You can probably name at least one of these for each person you know. There’s a certain movie that reminds you of someone, a certain snack, a bracelet, a song. It’s how we act, how we remember, how we hold on. Sometimes I think we do this hair thing because we try to think that if we change it, we can change what happened; for the good or bad. Sadly, we can’t.
December 30th, 2009
What a fabulous analogy. My hair is naturally a dark, black brown and I have dyed it blue/black before and it’s damn near impossible to get it any lighter unless you bleach it. Waiting it out is truly the best.
December 30th, 2009
Yes, bleaching is way too harmful to hair! I just clicked your link and LOVE the blog name. I’ll have to read up later, going out right now! And by the way, my cousin had it blue black and it was even harder than jet black to get rid of. Good luck with that!