Things that will never be said
I think almost every human being had stopped him/herself from saying something some point in their lives. What they omit may be an “I love you”, but it also can be an “I hate you”. I’ve realized I’ve omitted too many things in my life, but some really are for the better. For example, sometimes in life you fall in love with someone who clearly will never treat you how you deserve but you just can’t help yourself. It’s your weakness, the way that person melts your heart when you speak. It’s shocking how someone’s smile can light up your day– or maybe even your whole week! It’s marvelous…and painful at the same time. You have to shut up about it, even if it drives you crazy. Even if you have to write letters you’ll never send, and think of ways to say things you’ll never dare to speak. But in life you have to be faithful to two main things, those you say and those you don’t. Choose wisely each time you to decide to do one or another, because you’ll have to live with the “what if..?” for the rest of your days, unless you’re lucky enough to try it again.
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October 14th, 2008
Tied in with this whole line of thought, there’s also the decision of whether to be true to yourself (always say what you think) or lie for convenience (keep silent). It’s never just as simple as “What will other people think if I say this?” There’s also ‘What will I think of myself if I don’t say this?”
I guess I’ll always be the sort of person that just blurts out what I’m thinking, no matter whether it’s “I hate you,” “I love you,” or “OMG I WANT MACARONI AND CHEESE.” But, even as obnoxious as I sound, there are times when I too write letters to people that they’re never meant to read.
Sometimes, you have to just go ahead and be a jerk/be obnoxious, because that’s the only way you’ll know what to do next time when the mistake will be more serious. Life isn’t all about choosing wisely and being prudent. There are a lot of mistakes you need to make, even if you can never look someone straight in the face again.