Lately my love life has been hell. My on-again-off-again almost 4 year old relationship has been off for over a month. I liked someone else…I fell in love with someone else. And this is probably the only chance and place I’ll get to vent it all. Read whoever will read. So I’ll write, rant, go on and on because I don’t know if I keep much inside anymore. Here it goes.

I’ve known him for years and honestly have no clue when in our normal conversations was exactly when I started to feel differently towards him. We went to the movies to see Star Trek, for what I thought might be our “first date”, and I honestly choose to discard that day as the first date. Bad movie choice, barely any conversation and just well a very awkward night I guess. Then, came the basketball game. Without any doubts that was one of the best days of my life. My niece had come home and the game was awesome, and it was the first time he held my hand. He’d made me so incredibly nervous both times. And that night, I knew I really wanted more of him. We talked every day and he texted me sometimes and along the way, when he saw me he’d sometimes text me just after saying something nice…that was wonderful, while it lasted. He went to my graduation and I had dinner with him (and a lot of other people) and we went out afterward and overall it was an amazing day. Sharing it with him was indescribable. Slowly but surely I just kept getting into him more every day. We went to the movies, the beach, the mall over the next few weeks and honestly, I can’t remember when I felt this happy for this long. I started to feel comfortable around him, he made me happy, he made me want to try new things and do stuff that isn’t expected of me..and how or why I don’t know. He payed attention to me and made me feel he really wanted to include me in his life. He made me feel loved and I loved him as well. It seemed to happen really fast but it felt right…perfect timing for everything. He makes me want to run towards him and jump on him (in a sweet way) when I see him. When he smiles I get this feeling that is just…amazing. I want to spend hours with him talking shit and doing absolutely nothing else. I want to do so many things with him…and now I don’t think I’ll ever get the chance. So there it goes….another “i wonder what would’ve been” in life.

who will shove ice cream in my face
who will wrestle with me
who shows me off to his friends and family
who treats me with respect
who will call me at four in the morning to tell me he can’t stop thinking of me
who sings to me; even if he can’t
who texts me just to remind me how much he misses me
who holds my hand and kisses my forehead
who isn’t afraid to tell me when i’m being a pain-in-the-ass
who tells me i look beautiful every time he sees me
who tells me exactly how he feels
who isn’t afraid to admit he’s jealous
who wants me to be a part of his life and everything about it
who wants to teach me how to do stuff he does
who will love me as i am & wouldn’t want me to be ANY different

Haha this post is coming in really late, but it was a success as well. The teacher forgot her lines though…but I seemed even meaner in this function, which was really good. Here are some pictures: